As a young man, my grandfather worked with his father and brothers in the family business. The business was a freight company that had been started by my great great grandfather and his sons. Frehner Freight. Reading stories and finding news clippings of the business have been a wonderful, eye-opening opportunity to learn my heritage.
It’s incredible timing because I am deeply engaged in my career right now in freight, transportation, and logistics. While I’m not working on mule teams like my grandfather, there are traits and connections important to me.
Understanding family history is powerful. By learning about our ancestors we better understand who we are. Creating a family bond, linking the present to the past, and building a bridge to the future. All of this creates a family narrative.
Bruce Feiler wrote in the New York Times, “The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.” He went on to say, “Psychologists have found that every family has a unifying narrative,” he explained, “and those narratives take one of three shapes.”
Three Types of Essential Narratives
First, the ascending family narrative. It goes something like this: “When we came to this country, we had nothing. Our family worked. We opened a store. Your grandfather went to high school. Your father went to college. And now you….” A good example of who uses this kind of narrative is Gary Vaynerchuk. Grounded on the rise of his family as immigrants in America. Building on each generation’s previous hard work.
Second is the descending narrative: “We used to have it all. Then we lost everything.” This descending narrative is about a heritage that once was. Gravitating to what once was, instead of what is today.
“The most healthful narrative,” Dr. Duke an Emory psychologist and professor said, “is the third one. It’s called the oscillating family narrative: ‘Dear, let me tell you, we’ve had ups and downs in our family. We built a family business. Your grandfather was a pillar of the community. Your mother was on the board of the hospital. But we also had setbacks. You had an uncle who was once arrested. We had a house burn down. Your father lost a job. But no matter what happened, we always stuck together as a family.’ ”
Science shows future generations have the most confidence when they are grounded on an “intergenerational self.” Or the idea they belong to something bigger than themselves.
How Family Narratives Apply at Work
At work, narratives are no different. Science proves the same thing. Look at all the research about teams by famous leaders like General Stanley McChrystal in “Team of Teams,” Google’s effective team studies, and many others. Teams are built around effectively creating a team narrative and identity. Think of great sports teams. They took on a narrative that helped them connect to something far bigger than themselves. Perhaps they felt connected to the city they played for, the history of winning or drought, or the link between great players of the past.
Effective companies also build core identities around who they were. The oscillating narrative is the most healthy for companies too.
“We’ve had ups and downs in our company. We built this company as a family business. We’ve become pillars in our community. Our founders led a change in how things are done in our industry. But we also had setbacks. You had previous co-workers who made poor decisions. Those decisions resulted in a decade of revenue decline. We’re trying to get back to being industry leaders. No matter what, our company has always stuck together.”
Imagine if a co-worker had that conversation with you in your onboarding?
Passing On Intergenerational Narratives
The ability to connect others to your cause is essential. Simon Sinek recommends you, “Start with Why.” I don’t disagree. Being grounded in why you do what you do is important. But, sometimes why the company exists is different than the reason why employees work there.
We have to pass down our intergenerational narrative. But at work, each generation could be brief. Finding ways to share this knowledge is really important. In fact, it’s foundational to value-driven companies.
At RevUnit, one of the ways we do this is by having all new employees meet with the CEO, Joe Saumweber, on their first day. Joe takes the time to tell the company narrative. Our narrative goes something like this, “We started working out of the public library, but we’ve grown a lot since then. We’ve always cared about our values. You belong here, so we expect you to care about those values too. We aren’t perfect. You will help us be better. When we make mistakes, no matter how big or small, we always have each other’s back.”
Great companies have great narratives, and everyone at the company knows it. The organizational narrative is part of their core identity. Find ways to bring your heritage into who you are and you will find more success.
